I had a port surgically implanted in my upper right chest area for the chemo; it saved my veins from having to be punctured every time with an IV.

I started chemo in September 2008.  It was really horrible.  It hit me every time about three hours after treatment ended and it lasted about 10 days.  I felt tired, dizzy and nauseous constantly.  It was horrible.  And it was cumulative, even though the doctor said it would not be.  It was so bad that I refused to have the 4^th and final dose – I just couldn’t take it.  I told the doctor that I felt as though I should be admitted to the hospital to have this chemo.  It was just too much for me.  I was going through this hell and had to take care of my girls, too, and it was just so hard.

Forgot to mention, my hair started to fall out on day 13, the day before my second round, so I had Chris just shave it all off right away.  Why bother going through it gradually?  He didn’t realize how emotional it would be for me and he just laughed.  The girls took a couple of days to get used to it, but they handled it pretty well.  I chose to use a scarf to cover my head; the wig that I had purchased beforehand was too itchy and hot.

While I took a few weeks off, I found a new oncologist at a breast cancer center much closer to home.  I was a great place.  I started Taxol there and it was like night and day compared to the A/C.  I was tired on the day I received the taxol, but that was just from the Benadryl that they give you to avoid allergic reactions, but that was it.  Actually, I often felt exhausted a few days later because I felt so good that I was doing too much.  I kept forgetting that my body was still receiving chemo and going through a lot and I shouldn’t over-do it.

My hair started to grow back a few weeks before I finished the Taxol.  A few weeks after I finished the Taxol, my eyebrows and eyelashes started to fall out!

The recovery was much more difficult than I had anticipated and the pain much more severe.  I couldn’t bend over or stand completely erect.  I couldn’t twist my torso.  Getting in and out of bed was very hard, too – I had to use a large step stool because holding my leg up too high was painful also.

After the initial few weeks of recuperation, I did not look anywhere near normal.  Perhaps I didn’t ask the plastic surgeon enough questions about what to expect, but then I had no idea what to ask having never been there before.  I thought that after a few weeks of recovery and healing I would have a flatter belly and nice, new, perky boobs. 

That was not the case.  I was left with pouches of fat on my hips where the hip-to-hip incision was done.  The surgeon said that it was normal because of how they removed skin and pulled skin down to reattach …something like that.  Anyway, he said that it will be fixed.  He keeps saying that he’ll “fix anything that’s not perfect” every time I see him.

My boobs are not so perky and they seem to continue onto my sides and it’s gross.  I can’t wear a bra because of that extra skin and puffiness on the sides.  He says that will be fixed, too.

I guess I should feel reassured and maybe I was naïve to think that I would look great and transformed several weeks after the surgery.  I will try and be positive and patient and see what happens after 6 months.